When I knew I would be starting chemotherapy, I tried to learn as much as I could about what to expect. I read as many blog posts and personal accounts as I could. Nothing I read could have truly prepared me for the experience, but it was helpful.
I had four rounds of A/C chemotherapy (a.k.a. The Red Devil) which were given to me in two week cycles. Then I completed eight weeks of Taxol- a therapy that made me vomit a little less, but still wiped me out.
Without further ado, here’s what helped get me through it all, both at the cancer center and at home.
Take a Friend
My cancer center allowed me to have up to two support people sit with me at my appointments. Not only was this super comforting, it gave me a reason to spend time with friends. It gave me something to look forward to instead of just dreading the day I had to go get pumped full of poison. Having a friend take me to chemo was also a necessity because I needed someone to drive me. Most of all, I needed someone who could be there with me in my most vulnerable state and share a laugh.
Hydrate, Hydrate, Then Hydrate Some More!
Drinking lots of water before, during, and after really helped me feel better overall. A silver lining on chemo days was getting all the delicious, crunchy hospital ice chips I could eat. At home, my husband gave me bottled water so we could keep track of how much I was drinking. (I remember on some days, I didn’t even have the strength to open those bottles by myself.)
Dress Comfortably
This one may seem a bit obvious, but it really is so important. I hate going out in public in my pajamas, so I usually wore yoga pants or leggings, a stretchy top, a soft hat and a bulky cardigan sweater. Layering outfits was helpful because the chemo made me feel cold and hot at different times. My favorite tops to wear were actually very stretchy nursing tops I still had laying around. This made accessing my port so much easier, but any top with a looser neckline will do.
Pack Your Bags
Getting chemo took about three or four hours for me, but other types can take a lot longer than that. I packed an extra phone charger, a deck of cards, my notebook, snacks, gum, lip balm, etc. If you’d like to see exactly what I packed in my chemo bag, I’ll make a video sometime.
Put On Some Makeup
As a woman who had just lost my breasts and hair, I was not feeling very feminine. Getting poked and prodded with needles and pumped full of drugs made me feel more like a guinea pig. When I felt up to putting on some makeup, it made me feel ten times better.
I was fortunate to attend a workshop for women with cancer called Look Good Feel Better. This program provides tips on how to cover up hair loss, add color back into your face and just feel a little more like yourself. Plus, you get a whole bag of nice quality makeup to take home.
Learn Something New
I figured that as long as I was going to be stuck sick in bed, I might as well learn something new. I distracted myself from how terrible I felt with YouTube tutorials, podcasts and self-help books. I learned how to do new makeup techniques, how to care for houseplants, and how to cook new foods. I emerged from my treatments having picked up a few new skills and hobbies that I never would have had without those months of downtime.
Document Your Experience
Chemo makes your brain feel foggy and it’s very easy to forget things or lose track of time. Keeping a journal or taking lots of photos can be extremely helpful looking back. It can help you stay centered and visualize how far you’ve come.
I also took a notebook with me to every doctor appointment. That way I would remember to ask questions I had, and remember what was discussed with each doctor. It was also super helpful for remembering appointment times and dates.
Exercise
Exercising may seem like the last thing a chemo patient would want to do, but it’s so important to remain as active as your doctor and body will allow. There is a plethora of slow exercise and yoga videos available online. You can also check with your local YMCA to see if they offer any classes specifically designed for cancer patients. My oncologist specifically recommended that I do weight bearing exercises, which is good for bone strength too.
One of my favorite memories from this time in my life is the day my stepson and I took a walk in the woods. I picked a warm day near the end of a chemo cycle. Even though we took it slow and didn’t go too far, it was a great feeling to get up go and outside.
Get Yourself Into Therapy
I was talking to a friend who had taken me to get chemo one day. She brought up how she had been seeing a therapist recently and how much it had impacted her life. I don’t think I would have gone to therapy if it weren’t for her recommendation, but I am infinitely glad that I did. My husband started seeing a therapist too. Now, I’m not sure how we would have fared without therapy.
In therapy, I worked through not only my feelings about what I was experiencing in the present, but also issues from my past. The mental work I accomplished throughout this time changed the way I look at myself and my relationships with others forever. It truly felt like a metamorphosis within me.
No matter what you’re going through in life, do yourself a major favor and find a good therapist or even a support group. There is no shame in caring for your mental health!
Ask for Help
I was surprised and deeply touched by the number of people in my community who reached out to me to offer help. Your friends and family will want to help you, but they may not know how or what to say, so it’s good to be direct in stating what you need- or don’t need- others to do for you.
Additionally, you can ask your medical team for help. Your cancer center should be able to help connect you with a social worker or refer you to a counselor. Be your own advocate, or have a family member help advocate for you. I had a hard time saying how I really felt sometimes. It’s so easy to respond with “I’m fine” when someone asks “how are you?” My husband was great at explaining my needs to medical staff.
Celebrate Small Victories
Whether it was finishing another round of chemo or having the energy to climb an extra flight of stairs, celebrating was so important. So give yourself a pat on the back, share a high five, or have a treat. Having cancer is so hard, but every moment doesn’t have to be miserable if you keep on the sunny side. You Thank will get through this.
